I’m Rob Tracinski, and I’m running for Congress in Virginia’s Fifth District. And I feel I need to address the disturbing lack of scandals in my campaign.
I know I’ve disappointed many of you because I haven’t had any affairs. I don’t have any Nazi tattoos, or really any tattoos at all. I haven’t issued a worthless memecoin, and I haven’t done any pump-and-dump financial fraud schemes. I have, I am afraid to say, a long record of treating women respectfully. And I haven’t “sexted” anyone, not even my own wife, which I know is kind of lame.
I realize that by the rules of American politics these days, this does not entitle me to any press coverage, or to any chorus of defenders who can rise up to make excuses for my transgressions. It means I don’t have the “rough edges” that will cause political consultants to swoop down and build a slick campaign for me. And it won’t mobilize a bunch of clever pundits to tell everyone that being a jerk makes me seem “genuine” and appeals to the common man—because that’s their idea, I guess, of what the average American voter wants these days.
I’ll try to do better, or maybe worse. This morning, I went to the grocery store and thought about not putting the cart back—but I just couldn’t make myself do it. Because you’re supposed to put it back or it would be rude to the other shoppers.
I promise to take some time to reflect on this lack of scandalous behavior.
Or maybe not. Maybe I’m just going to embrace being normal, being sincere, being earnest and idealistic.
Maybe I’m going to lean in to being a guy who is here for a cause and not for my own personal aggrandizement. I’m running to restore the power of Congress, to restore the constitutional balance, to restore the rules and norms, to rein in the corruption and have honest government again.
I’m gonna fight like hell in Congress, but I’m gonna fight for the rules. I’m gonna fight to build things up, put things back together, and get us back to something that looks sane and normal.
I’m betting this is actually what most voters want. They don’t want another chaos machine. They don’t want a fountain of fake drama. They don’t want to vote for a guy with impulse control problems. They don’t want someone who has all the same personality flaws as the guy in the White House, just with a different party label.
I’m betting voters want someone who actually believes in the American system and wants to restore it and defend it.
And who knows, maybe we can get the press to finally pay a little bit of attention to that.
Thank you for paying attention to it right now.
Remember that the Democratic primary is August 4, and early voting is already open.
Support my campaign so we can bring this fight to the US Congress!
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